Friday, November 30, 2007
What I was up to for Thanksgiving
Here is a slide show of why I have not blogged for a week. We were, in the middle of no where, in Georgia for Thanksgiving with Seth's family and my brother who joined us for a few days. We had a great time, but it's good to be home and back to our normal routine. There are quite a few pictures so I won't be offended if you don't watch it but if you do I hope you enjoy! We did.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Puppy Panic
As I tell you this story remember that we got Gamba as a puppy a week after Gideon's funeral. We knew we weren't going to be ready for another baby for a little while but we also knew that we needed something to lift our spirits that we could watch grow and so we decided on a puppy. Maybe not the smartest on our part, to get something living in honor of our son who just died, but it was best for us at that time. We needed Gamba.
Down in Georgia the dogs, Gamba and his two cousins Romeo and Juliet, run free. Seth's grandma has 75 acres of land and we thought the dogs would enjoy some freedom. Plus, Gamba is a baby and usually stays fairly close. We have an invisible fence at home and after getting shocked a few times he was very happy to stay in our yard. We could even put him out without his collar on and he would stay in our yard. Well, while we were in Georgia him and Romeo, who is also a beagle, would go hunting and be gone for awhile but would always come back. Heath, Seth's brother and Romeo's dad, said that Romeo would be gone for a long time at home but he would always come back. Gamba had never done this before, again he's a big baby, but knowing that Romeo and Gamba were together and that we were out in the middle of no where, literally, made us feel a little better about them roaming.
Today Gamba rang his bell and wanted to go outside, so out he went. Our invisible fence is broken but I put him out thinking that he would stay close like he always did. I peeked out the window a few times to see if I could spot him, but no such luck. This isn't to surprising because we have some tall grass that he likes to play in and it's really hard to see him from the house if he is back there. What was surprising is when the Kirkwood man came to fill up our propane tank and Gamba didn't start howling or running at him. I kept thinking Gamba would attack, ok so attack isn't the right word he would more likely pounce him to death from all the jumping, but you get the picture I was waiting for him to do something. When Gamba didn't show I knew he was gone. So I did what any women, who loves her dog, but has a baby at home would do, I called my husband. Seth, being the good husband that he is and knowing how much I love our dog, said that he would run home really quick and see if he could find him. We have almost 3 acres and behind us is fields for miles so there is no telling where he could be. What scared me the most is that we live on a very busy street. So, Seth came home and did a quick search of the surrounding fields and then drove a quick lap around but came up short and had to head back to work for a meeting. A few more hours passed but no Gamba. Seth kept calling to see if he'd made it home yet, I'm still not sure if Seth was more worried about me or Gamba, either way he was worried. I ended up putting Jericho in the car and doing a lap in the car too but saw no sign of our puppy. It was getting pretty cold and starting to snow so Seth once again come home to look for Gamba. As Seth was out there was a knock on our door. I was praying that someone had found Gamba and was here to return him. I opened the door and this sweet lady asked if our dog was missing, I very eagerly said or maybe even screamed YES and she said she had him in the truck. I asked how far away she found him and how she knew he belonged to us and she told me he as 1/2 mile up the road running this way and she found us thanks to the Get Me Home tag that Gamba had on his collar. We got the tag for free in a thing of doggie treats when Gamba was a puppy. I'm so glad that we took the time to go online and fill out the information for it. I called Seth and told him that Gamba was home so he could stop looking as I'm talking to Seth Gamba was sitting at my feet totally clueless to the panic he had caused.
I know the day will come when Gamba will go to doggie heaven and I will have to deal with it but I'm so glad that today was not the day. Not this soon, not this close to Gideon's birthday, I don't think I could have handled it. I like my puppy and pray he is around for many more years!
Needless to say until that fence gets fixed Gamba is under house arrest.
Sorry Gamba were not in Georgia any more.
Down in Georgia the dogs, Gamba and his two cousins Romeo and Juliet, run free. Seth's grandma has 75 acres of land and we thought the dogs would enjoy some freedom. Plus, Gamba is a baby and usually stays fairly close. We have an invisible fence at home and after getting shocked a few times he was very happy to stay in our yard. We could even put him out without his collar on and he would stay in our yard. Well, while we were in Georgia him and Romeo, who is also a beagle, would go hunting and be gone for awhile but would always come back. Heath, Seth's brother and Romeo's dad, said that Romeo would be gone for a long time at home but he would always come back. Gamba had never done this before, again he's a big baby, but knowing that Romeo and Gamba were together and that we were out in the middle of no where, literally, made us feel a little better about them roaming.
Today Gamba rang his bell and wanted to go outside, so out he went. Our invisible fence is broken but I put him out thinking that he would stay close like he always did. I peeked out the window a few times to see if I could spot him, but no such luck. This isn't to surprising because we have some tall grass that he likes to play in and it's really hard to see him from the house if he is back there. What was surprising is when the Kirkwood man came to fill up our propane tank and Gamba didn't start howling or running at him. I kept thinking Gamba would attack, ok so attack isn't the right word he would more likely pounce him to death from all the jumping, but you get the picture I was waiting for him to do something. When Gamba didn't show I knew he was gone. So I did what any women, who loves her dog, but has a baby at home would do, I called my husband. Seth, being the good husband that he is and knowing how much I love our dog, said that he would run home really quick and see if he could find him. We have almost 3 acres and behind us is fields for miles so there is no telling where he could be. What scared me the most is that we live on a very busy street. So, Seth came home and did a quick search of the surrounding fields and then drove a quick lap around but came up short and had to head back to work for a meeting. A few more hours passed but no Gamba. Seth kept calling to see if he'd made it home yet, I'm still not sure if Seth was more worried about me or Gamba, either way he was worried. I ended up putting Jericho in the car and doing a lap in the car too but saw no sign of our puppy. It was getting pretty cold and starting to snow so Seth once again come home to look for Gamba. As Seth was out there was a knock on our door. I was praying that someone had found Gamba and was here to return him. I opened the door and this sweet lady asked if our dog was missing, I very eagerly said or maybe even screamed YES and she said she had him in the truck. I asked how far away she found him and how she knew he belonged to us and she told me he as 1/2 mile up the road running this way and she found us thanks to the Get Me Home tag that Gamba had on his collar. We got the tag for free in a thing of doggie treats when Gamba was a puppy. I'm so glad that we took the time to go online and fill out the information for it. I called Seth and told him that Gamba was home so he could stop looking as I'm talking to Seth Gamba was sitting at my feet totally clueless to the panic he had caused.
I know the day will come when Gamba will go to doggie heaven and I will have to deal with it but I'm so glad that today was not the day. Not this soon, not this close to Gideon's birthday, I don't think I could have handled it. I like my puppy and pray he is around for many more years!
Needless to say until that fence gets fixed Gamba is under house arrest.
Sorry Gamba were not in Georgia any more.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY GIDEON!
WE LOVE YOU!
WE MISS YOU!
WE CAN'T WAIT TO HOLD YOU AGAIN!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET BOY!
Celebrating Gideon
Last night Jericho found the tattoo of Gideon's footprint, on Seth's arm, for the first time. The timing seemed very appropriate as if she knew it were Gideon's birthday. It was so sweet how she kept touching it and staring at it. We have video of it, but the stupid computer would not let me upload it so the picture will have to do for now.
Last year for Gideon's birthday there were a few things that we knew we wanted to do in honor of him. This year is no different and it seems that we are making our own traditions in honor of our son just as we will have traditions that we will do during holidays and such as Jericho, and hopefully other children, get older. One of the first stops of our day is the hospital. Strong Memorial Hospital to be exact. It has one of the best NICU's in the nation and we are so thankful for it. The shirt that Jericho is wearing in the picture below is from Strong Hospital. When we were in the hospital with Gideon we always said that on our way out the door, with Gideon in tow, we were going to stop and get one. That obviously did not happen. I had almost forgotten about that until one of my good friends, that was always by our side when Gideon was in the hospital, came to the hospital, NOT Strong, when Jericho was born bearing this t-shirt as a gift. Jericho is not a Strong Memorial Hospital baby, she was born at a different hospital, yet she very much is! So today we were off to Strong Hospital in honor of Gideon to reminisce of his days at the NICU with high hopes of see a few of the doctors and nurses that we grew to know and love.
If it were for those two ladies and many others this Wall of Miracles and Memories would not be possible. Isn't it beautiful. It's full of pictures, birthday dates, hand prints, and each tile tells a different story from a different family that was in the NICU. This wall was not there when Gideon was in the NICU but we heard about it and it's so neat to see in person. If you ever find yourself at Strong Memorial Hospital in Rochester, NY go up to the 3rd floor, find the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit and then to the right of the main desk it the wall. If you have the chance go see it!
The walls leading into the NICU used to be bare but now they have these beautiful picture of newborn and preemie babies. It makes it feel much warmer, much more like home rather than a hospital. It's nice I like it. I want to get copies of a few of them.
This was one of my favorites. I wish I would have thought to take a picture of Gideon like this.
One of the other things that we do ever year is get a Hess Truck for Gideon. Even before Gideon was born Seth said that he would like to collect Hess Trucks, he has a few from when he was a boy, for Gideon. Things were a little crazy the year Gideon was born so we did not get one till a little later but when we went to buy it we found out that in 2005, the year Gideon was born, the theme, they do a different theme every year, was an Emergency Truck with a Rescue Vehicle, it seemed very appropriate for the kind of year Gideon had. This year it's a Monster Truck with Motorcycles, again very appropriate for a two year old. I think it's kind of neat how it has all worked out.
We have enjoyed out day but it's not over. We still have to head to the cemetery to see Gideon and sing Happy Birthday and there is also some angel food cake to eat, yes angel food cake for my angle boy! It's been a good day. Thank you all for your prayers!
Last year for Gideon's birthday there were a few things that we knew we wanted to do in honor of him. This year is no different and it seems that we are making our own traditions in honor of our son just as we will have traditions that we will do during holidays and such as Jericho, and hopefully other children, get older. One of the first stops of our day is the hospital. Strong Memorial Hospital to be exact. It has one of the best NICU's in the nation and we are so thankful for it. The shirt that Jericho is wearing in the picture below is from Strong Hospital. When we were in the hospital with Gideon we always said that on our way out the door, with Gideon in tow, we were going to stop and get one. That obviously did not happen. I had almost forgotten about that until one of my good friends, that was always by our side when Gideon was in the hospital, came to the hospital, NOT Strong, when Jericho was born bearing this t-shirt as a gift. Jericho is not a Strong Memorial Hospital baby, she was born at a different hospital, yet she very much is! So today we were off to Strong Hospital in honor of Gideon to reminisce of his days at the NICU with high hopes of see a few of the doctors and nurses that we grew to know and love.
We did get to see Carol one of the nurses that had Gideon much of the time. Carol is a seasoned nurse, I'm using her words and they mean that she's been there for a long time and knows what she is doing. While in the NICU she told us that because of this she usually gets the sickest baby's in the NICU, I guess it wasn't a good thing that Gideon always had her, but we sure did enjoy getting to know Carol. The picture below is Dr. Chess one of the best, in my opinion, neonatologist that you will ever meet. Every time we visit the hospital we get a chance to talk with her and catch up. She is a very busy woman but she always takes time for us and we are very grateful. It was wonderful seeing both of them and we can't say, "THANK YOU!" enough and not just for what they did for Gideon but for all the babies that they see!
If it were for those two ladies and many others this Wall of Miracles and Memories would not be possible. Isn't it beautiful. It's full of pictures, birthday dates, hand prints, and each tile tells a different story from a different family that was in the NICU. This wall was not there when Gideon was in the NICU but we heard about it and it's so neat to see in person. If you ever find yourself at Strong Memorial Hospital in Rochester, NY go up to the 3rd floor, find the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit and then to the right of the main desk it the wall. If you have the chance go see it!
The walls leading into the NICU used to be bare but now they have these beautiful picture of newborn and preemie babies. It makes it feel much warmer, much more like home rather than a hospital. It's nice I like it. I want to get copies of a few of them.
This was one of my favorites. I wish I would have thought to take a picture of Gideon like this.
One of the other things that we do ever year is get a Hess Truck for Gideon. Even before Gideon was born Seth said that he would like to collect Hess Trucks, he has a few from when he was a boy, for Gideon. Things were a little crazy the year Gideon was born so we did not get one till a little later but when we went to buy it we found out that in 2005, the year Gideon was born, the theme, they do a different theme every year, was an Emergency Truck with a Rescue Vehicle, it seemed very appropriate for the kind of year Gideon had. This year it's a Monster Truck with Motorcycles, again very appropriate for a two year old. I think it's kind of neat how it has all worked out.
We have enjoyed out day but it's not over. We still have to head to the cemetery to see Gideon and sing Happy Birthday and there is also some angel food cake to eat, yes angel food cake for my angle boy! It's been a good day. Thank you all for your prayers!Monday, November 19, 2007
Been There Done That
It's nice having friends in life who have "Been there and done that." Yesterday I got to be one of those friends and I needed one of those friends.
This Thanksgiving is going to be the first holiday that one of my dear friends is going to spend without her second oldest daughter. About 6 months ago her oldest 2 girls were in a very serious car accident. The oldest had major injuries, you would never know it looking at her today she recovered way better than any doctor thought possible - Praise the Lord, but her other daughter lost her life. This event is really what started our friendship. I knew her before the accident and we had talked a few times but now we are good friends. Why? because I have been in her shoes. I have lost a child. The circumstances in how our children died were nothing alike, a car accident verses a collapsed lung and to many infections, her daughter was 22 and my son was not even 2 months, but it does not matter. She knows that she can trust me, she knows she can be open and honest because I have been there and felt and thought and said many of the things she is feeling and thinking and saying. On Sunday she came up to me with tears in her eyes and asked if we could talk. We talked and cried and talked and cried some more. As we brought our conversation to an end my friend thanked me for taking time to talk to her when she needed it. I told her anytime and I chuckled to myself and thought you have no idea how much I needed this too. I needed to know that I'm not the only one missing my child this holiday season. I'm not the only one that gets mad at God for taking my son. I'm not the only one that knows that God is going to get me through. I'm not the only one that that has been there. So thank you dear friend for being open and honest, for sharing what you are going through, for knowing that I have "been there and done that", for trusting me at such a hard time. I will be praying for you and your family.
I need you guys to understand that Gideon's birthday and the up coming holidays are not the only thing that have been on my mind lately, there are a few other things that are heavy on my heart, I am just choosing not to blog about them. So if it seems like the only thing I'm talking about is Gideon it's because now is not the time to blog about the other things and I have been thinking about Gideon a lot. The other thing you need to understand is that I am the type of person that totally takes on other peoples problems and I analyze EVERYTHING. When something is heavy on my heart it is hard for me to think, or blog, about anything else. So I apologize if my blog seem kind of down but it's because I am thinking through and dealing with a lot of hard things.
With that said I will tell you that this last week was rough, very rough, but the Lord knows how much I can handle. On Sunday I was at the end of my rope and the Lord knew it and threw me a lifeline. Not just one lifeline but two. God is good. The event above was the 1st one and then later that night another good friend called. I missed her call, my phone was on silent from church, and when I called back she didn't answer. I know you're thinking what kind of lifeline is that, don't worry she called back and we actually got to talk. One of the reasons I was so desperate to talk to her is because I have found myself in a place that she has "been there and done that" I needed some advice. I needed to talk to someone that would listen and could understand the heartache. Thank you dear friend, you know who you are, for your wisdom and counsel, talking to you made me realize that no matter what happens things will turn out just fine and that I don't need to worry because it's out of my control.
Next time you find yourself in a situation that you don't like and are wondering how you got there, remember that one reason, although probably not the only one, is so that you can be or find a friend that has "Been There and Done That" They are good friends to be and good friends to have!
This Thanksgiving is going to be the first holiday that one of my dear friends is going to spend without her second oldest daughter. About 6 months ago her oldest 2 girls were in a very serious car accident. The oldest had major injuries, you would never know it looking at her today she recovered way better than any doctor thought possible - Praise the Lord, but her other daughter lost her life. This event is really what started our friendship. I knew her before the accident and we had talked a few times but now we are good friends. Why? because I have been in her shoes. I have lost a child. The circumstances in how our children died were nothing alike, a car accident verses a collapsed lung and to many infections, her daughter was 22 and my son was not even 2 months, but it does not matter. She knows that she can trust me, she knows she can be open and honest because I have been there and felt and thought and said many of the things she is feeling and thinking and saying. On Sunday she came up to me with tears in her eyes and asked if we could talk. We talked and cried and talked and cried some more. As we brought our conversation to an end my friend thanked me for taking time to talk to her when she needed it. I told her anytime and I chuckled to myself and thought you have no idea how much I needed this too. I needed to know that I'm not the only one missing my child this holiday season. I'm not the only one that gets mad at God for taking my son. I'm not the only one that knows that God is going to get me through. I'm not the only one that that has been there. So thank you dear friend for being open and honest, for sharing what you are going through, for knowing that I have "been there and done that", for trusting me at such a hard time. I will be praying for you and your family.
I need you guys to understand that Gideon's birthday and the up coming holidays are not the only thing that have been on my mind lately, there are a few other things that are heavy on my heart, I am just choosing not to blog about them. So if it seems like the only thing I'm talking about is Gideon it's because now is not the time to blog about the other things and I have been thinking about Gideon a lot. The other thing you need to understand is that I am the type of person that totally takes on other peoples problems and I analyze EVERYTHING. When something is heavy on my heart it is hard for me to think, or blog, about anything else. So I apologize if my blog seem kind of down but it's because I am thinking through and dealing with a lot of hard things.
With that said I will tell you that this last week was rough, very rough, but the Lord knows how much I can handle. On Sunday I was at the end of my rope and the Lord knew it and threw me a lifeline. Not just one lifeline but two. God is good. The event above was the 1st one and then later that night another good friend called. I missed her call, my phone was on silent from church, and when I called back she didn't answer. I know you're thinking what kind of lifeline is that, don't worry she called back and we actually got to talk. One of the reasons I was so desperate to talk to her is because I have found myself in a place that she has "been there and done that" I needed some advice. I needed to talk to someone that would listen and could understand the heartache. Thank you dear friend, you know who you are, for your wisdom and counsel, talking to you made me realize that no matter what happens things will turn out just fine and that I don't need to worry because it's out of my control.
Next time you find yourself in a situation that you don't like and are wondering how you got there, remember that one reason, although probably not the only one, is so that you can be or find a friend that has "Been There and Done That" They are good friends to be and good friends to have!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Latest on Joshua
Here is the latest on Joshua. His mom gave some very specifics things to pray for so go check it out and start praying.
Pumpkin Roll Disaster
Ok so again I wasn't going to post anything but as I was emailing my friend Andrea to tell her what I did, she's the one that gave me the recipe, I decided that I had to share the story with you guys as well. I'm sharing in hopes that you get a good laugh out of it because I sure did.
I am making 2 pumpkin rolls and going to freeze them and take them to Georgia with us for Thanksgiving. Jericho was sleeping so I decided to make them today while I had a little time. Well I got the first one in the oven with no problems and started on the second one, I had to do them at different times because I have to use the same pan. I got the 2nd one done but as I was spreading it in the pan I noticed that it was a lot thicker and the color seemed a little different than the other one and I wondered if I had mixed it to much, like the directions say NOT to do, but I thought oh well I guess I'll have to cook it and see. As I start to clean up I noticed that there sitting on the counter was the pumpkin. That's right I forgot to put the pumpkin in my pumpkin roll, I don't think that would have worked out very well. So, I snatched the dough, without the pumpkin in it, out of the oven, it hadn't been in for more than a minute, I don't think but still. I tried to see if I could save my pumpkin roll by taking the dough out of the pan, putting it in a bowl, which was pretty tricky, and then put the pumpkin in it. I think I managed to save it so I once again spread it in the pan and popped it in the oven, this time with the pumpkin in the dough, and then went to email Andrea to tell her what I did.
Well, that's not the end of the story. As I hit send, to email Andrea, the timer beeped so I went to check and see how bad my poor pumpkin roll turned out. Well, it was hardly cooked, I thought it was because I put it in the oven with out the pumpkin, took it out, added pumpkin, and put it back in, but it turns out that instead of turning the timer off on my oven, for the 1st pumpkin roll, I turned the oven off completely and didn't know it. I really do think my pumpkin roll is doomed. I turned the oven back on and then just set the timer for 3 minutes at a time because I had no idea how long it had been in or how much more time it needed. I kept on checking and praying that it would turn out okay and I think it worked. It's cooling right now and I still have to add the filling but hopefully it will turn out alright. And once again headed to the computer to inform Andrea of what I had done.
The thing that makes me a little nervous is that I don't even get to taste it to see if it's even edible and it's not just for Seth and I, if it were I wouldn't care, but I'm taking it for Thanksgiving, and it's not even my family, it's Seth's, well they are my family but you know what I mean. Oh well, I'm already apart of the family so they have to love me even if my pumpkin roll doesn't turn out, right!?! I do plan on marking it to see if anyone can tell a difference.
I thought this kind of stuff was only supposed to happen when you were pregnant. My only excuse was that Jericho started crying and I wanted to get the pumpkin roll in the oven and get the towel ready before I went and got her. Oh well, I guess we'll see what happens.
I was going to make some homemade applesause today as well, but I'm a little nevous of what the end result would be, I think I'll wait for another day to do that. I hope my absent mindedness atleast put a smile on your face in not made you laugh!
I am making 2 pumpkin rolls and going to freeze them and take them to Georgia with us for Thanksgiving. Jericho was sleeping so I decided to make them today while I had a little time. Well I got the first one in the oven with no problems and started on the second one, I had to do them at different times because I have to use the same pan. I got the 2nd one done but as I was spreading it in the pan I noticed that it was a lot thicker and the color seemed a little different than the other one and I wondered if I had mixed it to much, like the directions say NOT to do, but I thought oh well I guess I'll have to cook it and see. As I start to clean up I noticed that there sitting on the counter was the pumpkin. That's right I forgot to put the pumpkin in my pumpkin roll, I don't think that would have worked out very well. So, I snatched the dough, without the pumpkin in it, out of the oven, it hadn't been in for more than a minute, I don't think but still. I tried to see if I could save my pumpkin roll by taking the dough out of the pan, putting it in a bowl, which was pretty tricky, and then put the pumpkin in it. I think I managed to save it so I once again spread it in the pan and popped it in the oven, this time with the pumpkin in the dough, and then went to email Andrea to tell her what I did.
Well, that's not the end of the story. As I hit send, to email Andrea, the timer beeped so I went to check and see how bad my poor pumpkin roll turned out. Well, it was hardly cooked, I thought it was because I put it in the oven with out the pumpkin, took it out, added pumpkin, and put it back in, but it turns out that instead of turning the timer off on my oven, for the 1st pumpkin roll, I turned the oven off completely and didn't know it. I really do think my pumpkin roll is doomed. I turned the oven back on and then just set the timer for 3 minutes at a time because I had no idea how long it had been in or how much more time it needed. I kept on checking and praying that it would turn out okay and I think it worked. It's cooling right now and I still have to add the filling but hopefully it will turn out alright. And once again headed to the computer to inform Andrea of what I had done.
The thing that makes me a little nervous is that I don't even get to taste it to see if it's even edible and it's not just for Seth and I, if it were I wouldn't care, but I'm taking it for Thanksgiving, and it's not even my family, it's Seth's, well they are my family but you know what I mean. Oh well, I'm already apart of the family so they have to love me even if my pumpkin roll doesn't turn out, right!?! I do plan on marking it to see if anyone can tell a difference.
I thought this kind of stuff was only supposed to happen when you were pregnant. My only excuse was that Jericho started crying and I wanted to get the pumpkin roll in the oven and get the towel ready before I went and got her. Oh well, I guess we'll see what happens.
I was going to make some homemade applesause today as well, but I'm a little nevous of what the end result would be, I think I'll wait for another day to do that. I hope my absent mindedness atleast put a smile on your face in not made you laugh!
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Tea Party
So I didn't think I'd be posting so soon but I had to share this. I had a volleyball game tonight, we played awesome by the way, lost but played awesome, and now I'm wide awake and on the computer instead of in bed. Anyway, back to my story, Seth and I decided that I would feed Jericho before the game, pretty much as I was walking out the door, I know you bre*st feeding mommy's know what I'm talking about, but that Seth would stay home with Jericho. Seth usually goes to the games but it didn't start till 9:00pm and we'd all had a long day already. Yes, this was the first time that I left Jericho and she did great and so did I. Not that I thought she wouldn't, she's a great baby and absolutely loves being with her daddy, but it is hard leaving her, and I LOVE staying home with her and there is usually not a need to leave her, so I'm not used to it, but we both survived, more then survived we did great! Bug again back to the story, when I got home Seth told me to look at the pictures her took on the camera. Here are a few of them.
As I was looking at them Seth went on to explain that him and Jericho had their first daddy daughter tea party. How cute! As I was looking at the picture I noticed that Jericho had a dress on that was huge, as in size 12 month, I told Seth that we have cute fancy dresses that would fit her. He simply told me, "I know, I pick out the biggest one in her closet because that's what little girls do when they have tea parties. They dress up in fancy clothes that are way to big for them and it's cute. So that's why I picked that dress."
How cute is my husband! And such a good daddy. I love him so much and I'm amazed that each day I fall even more in love, especially when I see him with our daughter. Yup, I'm going to really enjoy watching Seth and Jericho together.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
A lot to say for being at a loss for words!
I have sat down at the computer to many times to count in the last 4 days intending to write but finding myself at a loss. Every time I sit down my mind goes blank. I have a million things on my mind right now, the main one being Gideon, but I don't know how to put any of my thoughts into words. My heart feels heavy.
I know so many people that are in a hard season of life right now. Joshua's mom (& family) who is getting ready to have Joshua around Christmas,who is so thankful that her son is alive but not sure if he will make it through the surgeries her will need. Gideon's doctor had a son that died on the day he was born, 3 days before Gideon's birthday, he would be 20 this year. I wonder what my life will be like when Gideon turns 20. That same doctor had a daughter that was born the same day as her son one year later. Another dear friend is celebrating her sons 9th birthday tomorrow but he died from trisomy-18 when he was 34 days old. She is also pregnant with her sixth! But she is due the day her son died. There is another lady, whom I don't know personally but who's blog I read, that just lost her daughter from the same genetic disorder. She has such a way with her words and does an amazing job of describing her grief. Sometimes it's hard for me to read what she writes because my grief is still to fresh. Her words take me back to the days and months following Gideon's death, a hard place to go to, but they also help me remember. Remember the good times that we had in the NICU, remember that I am a different person today then I was then and I don't want to go back to the me before Gideon, remember to pray for her and others that are now walking were I once walked, remember that sometimes life is hard but God is always good.
I can't believe Gideon's birthday is a week from today. It's totally snuck up on me. I'm not sure if it's because we've been so busy, it's ridiculous how busy, or maybe I've been trying to ignore it because I don't want to think about the fact that another year has gone by and I haven't gotten to hold, kiss, or snuggle Gideon. This year seems harder than last year for me. I think it's because last year we were still in the mist of our grief and it didn't seem real. Plus, this year I have Jericho (PTL) to hold, kiss, and snuggle which makes not having Gideon much more real. Until Jericho was born I didn't know what it was like to get to hold my baby all the time or rock her to sleep or get to decide where she goes or when she eats. Yes, I had a baby before Jericho but I didn't get to do all those things with Gideon so I didn't miss them. When I thought about Gideon before Jericho was born I missed things like staring at him from his incubator, I missed him squeezing my hand, I missed watching his stats, all the beeping and sounds of his machines, I missed being in the NICU with him. Since Jericho has been born there is a whole nother dimension to my grief. I fee like I'm discovering, with Jericho, all the things I missed doing with Gideon but I didn't realize I missed doing them. I don't know if that makes any sense to any of you, but as I type (and I thought I was at a loss for words) I feel like the Lord has just given me some more insight on my grief and why I'm feeling the way I. Grief is like an onion with so many layers, that I have yet to discover, but I will continue to discover until the day I die. It comforts me knowing I will always miss Gideon, my grief will always be there, I won't always be so hard, it many not always seem like I'm grieving, but it will always be there. There are many layers to an onion (grief) and I'm pretty sure that I won't get through all of them before I get to see Gideon, which means I will always miss him. As a mommy I need to know that.
Like I said before Gideon's birthday is next week and we are leave for Georgia after his birthday for a week and I have a lot to do between now and then. Plus I'm at a loss for words right now (I know it doesn't look like it but...) So, I don't know how much I'm going to be blogging in the next 2 weeks. If you think about it please be praying for me and the friends I've mentioned.
I know so many people that are in a hard season of life right now. Joshua's mom (& family) who is getting ready to have Joshua around Christmas,who is so thankful that her son is alive but not sure if he will make it through the surgeries her will need. Gideon's doctor had a son that died on the day he was born, 3 days before Gideon's birthday, he would be 20 this year. I wonder what my life will be like when Gideon turns 20. That same doctor had a daughter that was born the same day as her son one year later. Another dear friend is celebrating her sons 9th birthday tomorrow but he died from trisomy-18 when he was 34 days old. She is also pregnant with her sixth! But she is due the day her son died. There is another lady, whom I don't know personally but who's blog I read, that just lost her daughter from the same genetic disorder. She has such a way with her words and does an amazing job of describing her grief. Sometimes it's hard for me to read what she writes because my grief is still to fresh. Her words take me back to the days and months following Gideon's death, a hard place to go to, but they also help me remember. Remember the good times that we had in the NICU, remember that I am a different person today then I was then and I don't want to go back to the me before Gideon, remember to pray for her and others that are now walking were I once walked, remember that sometimes life is hard but God is always good.
I can't believe Gideon's birthday is a week from today. It's totally snuck up on me. I'm not sure if it's because we've been so busy, it's ridiculous how busy, or maybe I've been trying to ignore it because I don't want to think about the fact that another year has gone by and I haven't gotten to hold, kiss, or snuggle Gideon. This year seems harder than last year for me. I think it's because last year we were still in the mist of our grief and it didn't seem real. Plus, this year I have Jericho (PTL) to hold, kiss, and snuggle which makes not having Gideon much more real. Until Jericho was born I didn't know what it was like to get to hold my baby all the time or rock her to sleep or get to decide where she goes or when she eats. Yes, I had a baby before Jericho but I didn't get to do all those things with Gideon so I didn't miss them. When I thought about Gideon before Jericho was born I missed things like staring at him from his incubator, I missed him squeezing my hand, I missed watching his stats, all the beeping and sounds of his machines, I missed being in the NICU with him. Since Jericho has been born there is a whole nother dimension to my grief. I fee like I'm discovering, with Jericho, all the things I missed doing with Gideon but I didn't realize I missed doing them. I don't know if that makes any sense to any of you, but as I type (and I thought I was at a loss for words) I feel like the Lord has just given me some more insight on my grief and why I'm feeling the way I. Grief is like an onion with so many layers, that I have yet to discover, but I will continue to discover until the day I die. It comforts me knowing I will always miss Gideon, my grief will always be there, I won't always be so hard, it many not always seem like I'm grieving, but it will always be there. There are many layers to an onion (grief) and I'm pretty sure that I won't get through all of them before I get to see Gideon, which means I will always miss him. As a mommy I need to know that.
Like I said before Gideon's birthday is next week and we are leave for Georgia after his birthday for a week and I have a lot to do between now and then. Plus I'm at a loss for words right now (I know it doesn't look like it but...) So, I don't know how much I'm going to be blogging in the next 2 weeks. If you think about it please be praying for me and the friends I've mentioned.
If I don't blog you - I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Friday, November 9, 2007
God's fighting for You!
I recently did a post about flesh vs. spirit and I think this video show what I was trying to say. It's one of the best videos I've ever seen. It's long but worth every moment.
For those of you out there that are stuggling, God is fighting for you. Hold on and keep pushing through you'll make it. Romans 8:38-39 says, "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to seperate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." There isn't anything that can beat God or keep us from him execpt oursleves. We must allow Him to fight for us, we must allow Him to draw us near. Will you allow it?
First Friend
It's never to early to have friends. Jesse and Jericho were friends from the beginning as you can see above Anna, Jesse's mom, and I were belly buddies due just 4 weeks apart. Although Jericho didn't want to wait that long to meet Jesse so she came a week early and it seemed that Jesse wanted to wait for Jericho so he decided to stay in mommy's tummy an extra week and a half which puts them only 10 days apart.
They have already become good friends. Yesterday Jericho and I spent the afternoon with Jesse, his big brother Judah, and Anna. We had a wonderful time visiting and watching the babies play together, Judah was sleeping. It's going to be fun to watch them as they grow.
Josh, Jesse's dad, and Seth are carpooling together because we both only have one car and it gives us girls a chance to get out of the house and run some errands or visit with each other. Seth came home with Josh because Jericho and I were still over there visiting. The guys were home long enough to grab a bite to eat, snuggle with their babies, kiss their wives, and snap a few pictures, before they were off to church again for the big saturate youth conference this weekend.Seth and Josh used to joke, even before the babies were born because we both knew what we were having, that they do believe in arranged marriages. I think it's a little early to be planning their future, although it kind of looks like Jericho is eyeing Jesse in the last picture, but it is nice having friends from the beginning.
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Joshua's Family
Joshua's mom, Joshua is the baby that has encephalocele and is still in his mommy's tummy, has started a family blog. I thought instead of me updating you on what is going on you can check it out for yourself. I don't think there is much new news medically but it's been neat to hear how Joshua's mom is handling their situation. The last two posts are specifically about Joshua too. Go check it out and keep praying for them.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
My Daughter and Her Daddy
I wrote this (and posted it on myspace) when I was pregnant with Jericho but wanted to share it now.
I have to tell you a story but first I want to say that this little girl has already stolen my heart and her daddy continues to remind me why I love him so much. I've always known daddies and daughters have a special relationship, but what I didn't know was what it would do to my heart to see my daughter and her daddy start to develop that sacred bond that only daddies and daughters have.
The other night Seth and I had just gotten done eating dinner and were just relaxing and talking. I mentioned to Seth that the baby had started kicking a little bit. (I could feel her kicking and/or elbowing, kneeing, punching at few different places.) I am now 21 weeks along and we found out that babies can start to hear inside the womb at 20 weeks. So Seth leans over and puts his face up against my belly and starts talking to our daughter. She immediately stopped kicking everywhere else and started kicking right where Seth's face was. Seth just kept talking and she just kept kicking. It was one of the sweetest things that I have ever experienced! When Seth stopped talking, she stopped kicking and every time Seth would start talking again the baby would start kicking again. I couldn't believe it!
Maybe it's just me because I am a little emotional from all the racing hormones; maybe it was because it was the first time that Seth has actually talked to my belly. Maybe it was because I got to be a part of it; I don't know. What I do know is that I got to witness the first of many sacred moments between a daddy and his daughter. I know there will be many more and I know that I won't get to witness them all but I'm going to treasure every one that I do. And I'm going to be thankful for every one that Seth and this little girl have because every daughter needs a daddy and my daughter has a wonderful daddy!
Seth Praying for Jericho
The video is a medley of just a few of the songs that Seth sings to Jericho on a regular basis and she loves it. No body can make Jericho smile like her daddy!
I have to tell you a story but first I want to say that this little girl has already stolen my heart and her daddy continues to remind me why I love him so much. I've always known daddies and daughters have a special relationship, but what I didn't know was what it would do to my heart to see my daughter and her daddy start to develop that sacred bond that only daddies and daughters have.
The other night Seth and I had just gotten done eating dinner and were just relaxing and talking. I mentioned to Seth that the baby had started kicking a little bit. (I could feel her kicking and/or elbowing, kneeing, punching at few different places.) I am now 21 weeks along and we found out that babies can start to hear inside the womb at 20 weeks. So Seth leans over and puts his face up against my belly and starts talking to our daughter. She immediately stopped kicking everywhere else and started kicking right where Seth's face was. Seth just kept talking and she just kept kicking. It was one of the sweetest things that I have ever experienced! When Seth stopped talking, she stopped kicking and every time Seth would start talking again the baby would start kicking again. I couldn't believe it!
Maybe it's just me because I am a little emotional from all the racing hormones; maybe it was because it was the first time that Seth has actually talked to my belly. Maybe it was because I got to be a part of it; I don't know. What I do know is that I got to witness the first of many sacred moments between a daddy and his daughter. I know there will be many more and I know that I won't get to witness them all but I'm going to treasure every one that I do. And I'm going to be thankful for every one that Seth and this little girl have because every daughter needs a daddy and my daughter has a wonderful daddy!
Seth Praying for JerichoI could tell Jericho was going to be a daddy's girl from utero and I was right. Now that Jericho is here and I get to see Seth with her it melts my heart. Seth is the perfect daddy for Jericho and she absolutely adores him. I look forward watching them together in the years to come.
The video is a medley of just a few of the songs that Seth sings to Jericho on a regular basis and she loves it. No body can make Jericho smile like her daddy!
Monday, November 5, 2007
Thanks Vic!
A friend of mine from church asked if I could send her a picture of what Jericho's bed room set looked like because she wanted to paint something to go with it that had Jericho's name on it and a verse that Seth and I picked out. Well, this is what we received. It's absolutely beautiful and matches perfectly! She did an amazing job! I love it and I can't wait to put it up in Jericho's room. Thanks Vic!
Sunday, November 4, 2007
My Rubber Ducky
Jericho does so good when we, actually when I, decide to take pictures of her, if Seth is involved it's usually because I need him to hold Jericho, example in this picture the blue blanket is covering up his arm. I'm noticing that whenever I take pictures it's never just one it always turns into a photo shoot. Usually it's because we are trying to get her to smile or do something cute that she just got done doing but never wants to repeat when the camera comes out, of course. I've gotten better though, this time I think I only took 10 pictures. Although that could have been because Jericho was tired and hungry and ready for bed, as you can see by the last picture, but despite those circumstances I still got a few good pictures of my cute little ducky.
Flesh vs. Spirit
I was reading in Romans the other day, chapter 7 starting in verse 7 to be exact,where it talks about the struggle with sin. The difference between living in the spirit or giving in to the flesh. Sometimes I can feel this struggle going on with in me. I told Seth last night that in many areas in my life right now I can feel that struggle. It's so strong at times it feels physical. I've been so conscious of the choices I have been making lately, sometimes I choose to live in the spirit and sometimes I give in to my flesh.
In my life when I have felt this fight between flesh and spirit it has been because I know the Lord is calling me to a higher place. He is calling me into a deeper relationship with Him and I must choose. Will I answer His call or will I stay where I am, which often times means slipping further from Him. I hate being in this place, yet I love it too. How can that be?
I love being in this place because I know that at the end of this battle, even if it takes me awhile I've found that God is very patient, I will choose God. I will choose to answer the call and be closer to the God that I love. At the end of the battle I will be tired and wore out but the Lord will refresh and renew me for fighting hard and choosing Him.
You may ask how I know I will always choose God and honestly I'm not sure but I always have. I haven't always chosen Him right away and there have been a few times that it has taken me a LONG time to choose Him but in the end I always choose God and I have never once regretted it. I think a lot of it has to do with how I was raised. My parents taught me that being a christian is not easy but it you love the Lord and try to please Him in everything you do you will not be let down.
It's also a hard place to be. It's hard because I don't always make the right choice. In the fight I get knocked down and sometimes it's hard to pick myself up and go at it again. I don't know anyone that likes being in a fight. Plus during these battles I'm conscious of everything I do. No one likes being conscious of when they allow their flesh to take over and I am no different.
Let me just take a moment to explain that when I'm talking about giving into the flesh I'm not talking about going out and partying or having an affair or anything like that. Yes I believe those things are giving into the flesh but they are not the things of the flesh that I struggle with. My struggles are many times very small and stupid which annoys me because of how stupid they are. I'll give you an example. I made cookies the other night, nothing wrong with that, and I ate a cookie, nothing wrong with that either, but then I ate another one and another one and at some point I know that I don't need any more I don't even want anymore but still I choose to eat them. See how stupid that is. I don't know why the Lord uses a cookie or any type of food, but sometimes for me that is enough.
Now I don't want you to think that eating a cookie is the only thing I struggle with. I definitely have bigger struggles than choosing what to eat but I just wanted to show you how every part of my life right now, even down to the choice of eating a cookie, is a battle between my flesh and spirit.
It's not always like this, Praise the Lord. It usually lasts a few weeks before I'm on my face telling God that He can have all of me, every part of me, and I mean it with all my heart. I don't know why I can't get to that point sooner but then again I think a lot of it is about the struggle. The fight that we have to go through to get to that point is what makes us who we are. I think God knows that and that's why He makes us fight it out and choose. The fight is not easy it never will be, but it's always worth it and it always will be!
In my life when I have felt this fight between flesh and spirit it has been because I know the Lord is calling me to a higher place. He is calling me into a deeper relationship with Him and I must choose. Will I answer His call or will I stay where I am, which often times means slipping further from Him. I hate being in this place, yet I love it too. How can that be?
I love being in this place because I know that at the end of this battle, even if it takes me awhile I've found that God is very patient, I will choose God. I will choose to answer the call and be closer to the God that I love. At the end of the battle I will be tired and wore out but the Lord will refresh and renew me for fighting hard and choosing Him.
You may ask how I know I will always choose God and honestly I'm not sure but I always have. I haven't always chosen Him right away and there have been a few times that it has taken me a LONG time to choose Him but in the end I always choose God and I have never once regretted it. I think a lot of it has to do with how I was raised. My parents taught me that being a christian is not easy but it you love the Lord and try to please Him in everything you do you will not be let down.
It's also a hard place to be. It's hard because I don't always make the right choice. In the fight I get knocked down and sometimes it's hard to pick myself up and go at it again. I don't know anyone that likes being in a fight. Plus during these battles I'm conscious of everything I do. No one likes being conscious of when they allow their flesh to take over and I am no different.
Let me just take a moment to explain that when I'm talking about giving into the flesh I'm not talking about going out and partying or having an affair or anything like that. Yes I believe those things are giving into the flesh but they are not the things of the flesh that I struggle with. My struggles are many times very small and stupid which annoys me because of how stupid they are. I'll give you an example. I made cookies the other night, nothing wrong with that, and I ate a cookie, nothing wrong with that either, but then I ate another one and another one and at some point I know that I don't need any more I don't even want anymore but still I choose to eat them. See how stupid that is. I don't know why the Lord uses a cookie or any type of food, but sometimes for me that is enough.
Now I don't want you to think that eating a cookie is the only thing I struggle with. I definitely have bigger struggles than choosing what to eat but I just wanted to show you how every part of my life right now, even down to the choice of eating a cookie, is a battle between my flesh and spirit.
It's not always like this, Praise the Lord. It usually lasts a few weeks before I'm on my face telling God that He can have all of me, every part of me, and I mean it with all my heart. I don't know why I can't get to that point sooner but then again I think a lot of it is about the struggle. The fight that we have to go through to get to that point is what makes us who we are. I think God knows that and that's why He makes us fight it out and choose. The fight is not easy it never will be, but it's always worth it and it always will be!
Friday, November 2, 2007
It's November and I'm not ready
I'm ready for Halloween to be over but I'm not ready for November to be here yet. November was when Gideon was born. November means another birthday wondering what he would look like, another Thanksgiving thanking God for the time we had with him but not having him with us, another Christmas without my precious Gideon, and another New Year which means bringing in the new year at the cemetery remembering the day my sweet boy went to Heaven. I'm not ready for that.
It's Gamba's Birthday!
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Gamba is 2 today and in honor of him I thought I'd share this slideshow. We couldn't have asked for a better pup!
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Recovering from Harvest Party
Seth took today off since we've lived at the church the last 4 days getting ready for Harvest Pary. (see previous post) One of the things we did was went for a nice long walk as a family. The puppy got to run, the baby got a much needed nap, Seth and I got some time to talk and wind down after a cazy few days, and everyone got some fresh air after being stuck indoors for days. The last picture is what the trail that we were walking on looked like in either direction - it was wonderful!
Harvest Party
Yesterday was Halloween and for us that means Harvest Party, the fun safe alternative to trick or treating that our church puts on. Seth is in charge of Harvest Party and for us that means spending days (pretty much living) at the church preparing for it. It's always worth it. The kids love it, the parents appricate it, it's a good time for everyone. I didn't get as many pictures as I had hoped during the actual event because I was in charge of the candy in the kitchen. If you want to see some cute kids that came to Harvest Party check out Michelle, Katie, or Gina's page.
Yes that is a giant bounce house in our sanctuary. The kids wing, santuary, and preschool area get transformed into fun zones filled with games. For prizes the kids get - you guessed it candy!
Yes that is a giant bounce house in our sanctuary. The kids wing, santuary, and preschool area get transformed into fun zones filled with games. For prizes the kids get - you guessed it candy!
Have you ever seen so much candy? Yes, all those baskets in the back ground are filled with candy too. Quick somebody call a dentist we're gonna need it!
We also do a cosume contest. I love getting to see all the kids dressed up. The Levendusky family did a scooby doo theme. Seth, Jericho, and I even dressed up this year. Can you tell who we are?
If you said Popeye, Olive Oyl, and sweet Pea you are right!
If you said Popeye, Olive Oyl, and sweet Pea you are right!
My little Sweet Pea!
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