I interrupt this break to.....

....wish this little girl a


Myspace Happy Birthday Comments & Graphics

The problem is that this little girl is not so little anymore.

(Wulf you weren't supposed to let her grow up!)

I can honeslty say that Kelsey was my first "baby" no I did not give birth to her but I think of her as mine just the same (don't worry her mom is okay with this - thanks Wulf!) There are so many stories and memories that I could share about this little girl and half of them she might not even remember because she was so little (but that is for another time). I just want you all to know that -

Kelsey means the world to me.

I started watching her when she looked like this (wasn't she a cute baby!)

and when I left for college 4 years later (the last time I lived close to her) she looked like this

Three years later she was the flower girl in my wedding

And now (anohter 3 year later) she holds my baby as I hold her. Where has the time gone?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KELS!

I hope you have a wonderful day and that the Lord blesses your next year. I miss you so much! I can't believe that you are old enough to start baby sititng and that I have a baby you could babysit. I'm so proud of the young lady that you are becoming! But remember that no matter how old you get you'll always be my K BABY! I love you!




Let the break continue - but not for much longer!

Gimme a Break

In case you were wondering, Tori got a job, this means she is going to be sticking around! Woohoo! I'm pretty excited to have her close again. She's going to be working for an insurance company called Combined. The next 3 weeks she is going to spend in training and getting her insurance license. Please be praying with us that she passes all the recommended test with ease.

On a different note, I am taking a break. A blogging break. Seth and I have been doing a lot of talking about our family, what is important to our family, what we want to impart into our children, and how to go about doing those things. From all of our talks it has also gotten me thinking about what I need to change at home so that things can run as smoothly as possible. I would like for Jericho to learn (as in baby stuff crawling, walking, ect..) while also being happy (for the most part) and safe, I want Seth to be able to come home and relax (as much as possible), I want to have meals planned ahead of time (and going by the time Seth gets home), and I'm hoping to figure out a way to do one big grocery shopping trip a month and then get perishables when needed (but somewhat planned out each week), and one of the biggest things I want is for the house to not fall apart when (if) I have to go on bed rest (no we don't know when we are going to start trying again, please don't ask, and as of now my doctor is telling me I will have to be on bed rest. I've had many people ask why I'd need to be on bed rest again because I went full term with Jericho with no problems. Well, I was on bed rest with Jericho from 4 weeks to 28 weeks, so if that is the reason I went full term why would we change anything - that's how my doctor explained it. I don't want to get too much into this - although I think it's a little too late - but if you think about it please be praying for us in this area because bed rest it's a touchy issue. Neither Seth nor I want me to be on bed rest but when the time comes to make that choice we will be dealing with a life - which always makes it a hard, God sought decision.) So, as you can see I need some time to think, get some things down on paper, and then put them into action.

Don't worry I'm not going in totally blind. I already have a few ideas of what I'm going to do and have even tried a few things that seem to work for us so that's always encouraging. (If you want some menu planning ideas go check out Sarah's ideas here and here and here) I'm not going in blind and trying to do everything at once, so please don't freak out on my behalf (but you can pray that things go smoothly.) Even though I do have idea on what might work for us I am open to looking into different things so if you have any ideas that you think might work for me and my family please let me know (comment below or email me at: growingoodsons@gmail.com)

I'm sure by now you are all in tear (as Jericho is) because you are going to miss me so much. Don't worry I'll be back. I'm not sure how long my blogging break will be, I'm thinking till March, it might depend on how much I get done, but I promise - I will be back!

I can't get enough

..... of this smiling face! This little girl absolutly melts my heart, especially when she smiles. I wish I could put into words how much this little girl means to me, but there is simply no way to explain it. I really can't get enough of her!

Long Day

Who needs socks anyway

These 1st two pictures are a pretty accurate account of what our day was like- a little crazy and very long. Jericho was a little fussy and gassy, thanks to some pepperonis that mommy ate and there is a good chance she's working on a tooth. She refused to sleep for a little while too but eventually gave in and took a decent nap. Even when we have long day like this we usually still manange to get a few moments like these (picture below), so it's all good!

FOR

As Seth was reading my previous post he mentioned that when I talked about being pregnant I would type that I was pregnant for Grace, instead of saying I was pregnant with Grace. He thought that it sounded weird and that next time I might want to change the wording. I know it sounds weird. I always used to say that I was pregnant with Grace (or Gideon or Jericho). But there is a reason for my wording.

One of my close friends, when talking about her pregnancies, would always say, "When I was pregnant for ______ " (fill in the blank) and then go on to finish her story. I noticed that some of my other friends would say it this way too. I always thought it sounded weird (I'd never hear it till I moved to NY) and wonder why they said it this way. At first I thought it might just be because of location and the difference of how people word things (You want to come with? Right Elizabeth! Sorry inside joke that my sister-in-law, and I always get made fun of for because we, northerners, married southerners)

One day I decided that I was sick of wondering all the time why my friend said she was pregnant for instead of pregnant with her children. I was just going to ask the reason (if there was one) behind the for. I found out that there was a reason behind the for. She said that when she's pregnant the choices she makes eating, exercising, resting, ect.... many times are made for the baby's sake more than her own. I know she takes care of herself when she is not pregnant but if you've ever been pregnant, I'm sure you can relate to what she was trying to say. Most women I know are much more conscious of what they are putting into and what they are doing with their body when they are pregnant, I know I was. My friend went on to explain that for 9 months her body was not her own, her body was her growing child’s, what she did with it, she did for them.

I'm glad I asked. I'd never thought of it that way before. It made me look at my pregnant body differently, I was pregnant for Jericho at the time. I had hard pregnancies and was told to do (more like not do) things by the doctors that some women would not have done (I unfortunately know women that have been told to go on bed rest and they chose not to, it was to inconvenient) Bed rest is not easy, it is not fun, but when the doctor tells you it could make the difference of your child making it to term or not, or even making it at all, to me it seems like an easy choice. A choice I whole-heartedly made for my children. Most women don't have to make the kind of decisions that I did but because of my experiences and the choices, I did make this whole concept made complete sense. With one tiny word it so simply explained why I made the choices I did. It was for my babies.

Grace

Today is Grace's "Angelversary." She would be 3! Can you believe it? I can't. I can however, hear sweet giggles up in heaven. They are so loud and so happy that I can hear them when I'm really quite, if you are really quiet you might be able to hear them too. I know they are coming from my little girl who is sooo excited that it's her birthday. She thinks she's the luckiest girl ever because she has gotten to spend all 3 years with her favorite person, her Heavenly Father, and she knows that there are many more years to come. What more could a girl ask for! If I knew that, I think I would be all giggles too!

Do you like the term "Angelversary"? I got the saying from Bee. To me an "Angelversary" is the day a baby (or anyone for that matter) goes to Heaven. It's hard to say birthday in the case of a miscarriage or stillborn, although it is their birthday it is also the day they died, the day that you want to forget yet remember at the same time. I think calling it their "Angelversary" is very appropriate. We've always called the day Gideon went to Heaven "Gideon's Day" maybe we'll start calling it his "Angelversary" too. I guess we'll see when that time comes. Thanks for the idea Bee.

After I lost Grace we decided that we were going to get a Precious Moment in honor of her every year. I collect Precious Moments and there is a series that I had always planned to collect for one of my daughters. They make them up until age 16 and each year the figure is based on the age of the girl. I told Seth about my plans to collect them for one of my daughters and we decided that that series would be perfect for Grace. When we went to purchase the first one we found out that the series is called "Growing in Grace." (the picture above is this years) We were right, it's perfect for our Grace!

I know I don't talk about Grace very much but it's not because I don't think about her. I don't know how many times this week I have or almost have called Jericho Grace. In this post I found myself typing Grace's name instead of Jericho's by accident a few times. Grace has definitely been on my mind. It's just that people have a hard time understanding women that have had miscarriages. It's almost seems that because I don't have pictures of Grace because I never held her or kissed or snuggled her, she didn't exist. That's not the case. I am one of very few women that have experience both a miscarriage and the death of an infant child. Most people categorize these two experiences together. There are, in some aspects, many similarities, but through my experiences I can tell you that they are very different. In some ways having a miscarriage is so much harder but in other ways the death of a child is so much harder. There is really now way to compare the two. (I could go on to explain the difference and might one day but that is for another blog) I guess I say all that to say that I do talk about Gideon more and I think it's because I know people can relate better when I talk about him because I have pictures and story, but please know when I talk about Gideon, Grace isn't to far from my thoughts even if I don't say anything about her. How can I think about one of my angel babies without thinking of the other? I don't think it's possible for this mommy.

I was pregnant for Grace for 16 weeks and I was very aware that Grace was with me. Eight of those 16 weeks were spent on very strict bed rest, as in I could only go to the bathroom and even that was limited and no showers because that was too much standing. I was making daily calls to the doctor (to give him updated info) and visiting him about every other week, most times when I saw him he told me he couldn't believe I was still pregnant (not something you want to here when your pregnant, but encouraging for the kind of problems I was having) It was rough, but I don't regret any of it.

Grace gave me something that none of my other babies could give me - the experience of my first pregnancy. I've always wanted to have a big family and with that came thoughts of pregnancy. As a young girl I remember being fascinated when I would see pregnant women and would wonder what it felt like and how they knew they were pregnant and if they talked to their bellies and a million other things. I remember talking to my belly even before I knew Grace was in there for sure. I'm so glad I did. Those talks I had with Grace were some of the most precious times I had with her and some of my favorite things about her pregnancy. When I became pregnant for Gideon I was a little nervous to talk to my belly for fear of losing him as I did Grace and the same was true when I became pregnant for Jericho and almost more so with her. I wish I had talked to Gideon and Jericho more when they were in my womb but it's how I coped with the things I had experienced. I can't change that now, I do hope to change that during future pregnancies, but I am so glad that that fear wasn't there with Grace because the only time I had with her, when she was in my womb. I loved our tummy talk time!

Before I knew for sure that I as pregnant for Grace I thought that I was and that it was a girl. People kept coming up to me (4 or 5 different times) saying grace be with you, or God's grace on your life, and one time my aunt said, "May Seth give you grace." It was weird, I've never had anyone say that to be before or since, but every time someone would say something like that I would think - grace is with me, I'm pregnant, we're having a girl, and we're going to name her Grace - like I said it was weird. Anyway, I remember taking that 1st pregnancy test with Grace wondering if two little pink lines would ever show up, they didn't. That's right the test showed a negative result, which makes you think you’re crazy when you've totally convened that you are pregnant. Well, I had to go to the doctor (I was having problems and wasn't sure why) the next day and I told them about the test results and that I didn't believe them, so they tested me themselves and sure enough I was right. I was pregnant. Because of some crazy circumstances I had to tell Seth over the phone and it was a little nerve wracking because they thought that I might have a disease (that's the doctor told me at my apt) but they couldn't treat it because I was pregnant (so they sent me to the ER.) It was a crazy day but I remember lying in bed that night asking Seth if he thought it was a boy or girl. He said girl and I agreed. I asked if there were any names that he liked and he didn't have any in mind and because of the previous few weeks I asked if he liked the name Grace. Seth said Grace sounded perfect and from then (I was only 4 weeks pregnant) on she was Grace. We prayed the whole pregnancy that God would give us Grace.

He did, it just wasn't in the form of a baby girl as we had hoped.

Things that make me HAPPY....

....when blogger works!

....watching my puppy pounce down the hallway.

....watching my baby girl fall asleep

....knowing Jericho is in good hands with Aunt Tori while I have...

....a date night (at Lazer Quest, last night) with my husband!

....having iceman, I mean Seth, say, "You know you married a good woman when she comes in right behind you at lazer tag." It made me giggle!

....coming in 2nd in our game, 3rd for Today's Top Scorers, at lazer tag behind my iceman, I mean husband!

Things that DO NOT make me Happy....

....when blogger won't upload my videos!

....when it's to icy outside to go anywhere.

....when it's cold outside and I don't have any hot chocolate in the house.





So I was going to post a "Things that make me HAPPY" blog but it's not working and I'm not happy about it. Oh well, I'll try again later.

Tori, Jericho, and I were going to go into Rochester to run some arrends and see if we could find any more job leads for Tori but it's way to icy out. Seth said he had to go 25-30 mph to work (he only works 7 min. away) and that was before the ice really hit. Again, oh well I guess we'll go some other time.

I need something warm and I don't drink coffee and because of the ice it looks like I won't be getting any hot chocolate either. Again, oh well. I'm sure I'll live, but I don't have to be happy about it!