Can't believe it

It's hard for me to believe that the Packers lost when there was such a happy little girl cheering for them. She was even sporting her old school sweats along with her brand new hair bow! (Thanks again Aunt Thea & Uncle Adam)

I also couldn't believe my eyes when I saw that the first thing Jericho went and played with after I put her in her Packer gear were her two footballs - go figure. I love that girl!

Because You Asked

A few of you have been asking about the family we visited in the NICU. I got a chance to talk to Kathy, the mom, yesterday and she gave me the liberty to share details on what was/is going on. Kathy ended up having a c-section because she was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia although, at the time the doctors were a little unsure if this was truly the problem. They found out, as they were delivering the baby, that Kathy did indeed have pre-eclampsia and it was a very severe case. If left unattended (if they would not have delivered the baby) they don't think that mom or baby would have made it. We are praising the Lord that both are alive and healthy!

On September 16 Kathy and her husband, Aaron, were proud to welcome Mercedes Elizabeth into their family. She weighed in at 1 pound and 11 ounces, no that's not a typo she's tiny! I am happy to report that Mercedes is doing remarkably well! Within 12 hours of being born Mercedes was off the ventilator and on CPAP (below is a link that explains what it is) which is an amazing feet for one so small and only 12 hours after being born. I'm still in awe of this little one. As of yesterday she was still on the CPAP but they have plans to take her off which means that she will be breathing completely on her own! What an answer to prayer. Mercedes started eating quicker than they expected too with is such a blessing. Aside from a few feeding hurdles, her feeding tube was in the wrong place, she's eating like a champ. The doctors have told Kathy and Aaron that they couldn't be happier with Mercedes because she is doing so well! That is the kind of report that you want to hear when your are in the NICU. Kathy and Aaron have been staying at the Ronald McDonald House (this place is a God send) so they can be close to Mercedes. Please continue to pray for this young family!


Go here for NICU vocabulary. If I don't explain something and you have no idea what I'm talking about please feel free to ask. When I talk about NICU stuff I usually talk to people that have either been in the NICU with their baby or worked in the NICU and they know what I'm talking about but when I write I forget that most of you don't know what I'm talking about

Is it naptime yet?

This morning while I was making the cookies, Jericho wandered into her room. It was a little past nap time but she was happily playing so I wasn't sweating it. The last batch of cookies were in the oven and would be done soon. I was planning on nursing Jericho and then put her down after that. Unsure of what Jericho was doing in her room, it had gotten quite and every mommy knows that quiet = trouble, so I went to check on her while the cookies finished baking into warm gooey delicious works of art, oh sorry we were talking about the baby not the yummy cookies in the oven. Sometimes I get the two confused because they are both so heavenly. In her room I saw that Jericho was contently waiting for me to get done with what I was doing so I could put her down for a nap. She's such a good girl!

Mama are you done making those yummy cookies yet? I'm tired!

Don't forget to turn my nap time music on, you know how much I love music!

Mama, I'm really tired!

Zzzzzzz... thaxzzzz mamaaa... Zzzzzzz...

A Mountaion of Cookies...

...for the church picnic tomorrow.

YUM!

Goodale

Have you ever wondered why men and women don't combined their last names when they get married to make a new last name that's not his or her but theirs?

No? Well why not? It's a good idea don't ya think.

Seriously though I never have wondered about it till I came across this sign the other day

This is what our last name would have been.

Goodson - son + Truesdale - Trues = Goodale.

Half of him & half of me.

What do ya think? Should we do it? Should we change our last name?














On second thought I rather like my married last name!

I think I'll keep it - FOREVER!

For Breakfast.....

we had gingerbread pancakes, bacon and blueberry yogurt.

It didn't matter that...

mommy forgot to put the molasses in the pancakes
they were still very yummy.

Or that I didn't want the blueberries in my yogurt
I ate them separately.

What matter was that....
daddy got to join us!

Any daddy's girl knows that those are the BEST kind of mornings!

What to do?

Since Jericho's party we've actually had a few down weeks. Do you hear that? The heavens - they are rejoicing for me for us. It's been nice to have a little down time. I've put way to many things off but ya know what I don't care. Wanna know what we have been doing? Playing. That's it. I love that playing includes watching an adorable one year old girl discover (by playing) the world around her. Sadly, I knew this couldn't last forever and starting Thursday things have picked up and they won't stop for the next 2 weeks, literally.

This weekend (well Thursday-Saturday) Seth has a growth seminars (not really sure what to call it). These seminars are for a small group of guys in the ministry and they meet 3 times a year for 3 years, Seth is in his 2nd year. They bring different counselor, teachers and preachers to speak. The wives are encouraged to attend the seminars with their husbands. To encourage the wives attendance the church provides child care. I've attended almost all of the meetings but Jericho was still young (and quiet) so I kept her with me the last few times. So, I forgot about the child care.

Remember how I told you I've been putting things off well grocery shopping was among that list but thanks to the boars and chickens we've been eating! You can only eat so much boar before you need something different. We needed something different. I needed the car to get something different, we only have one car. What's that you say you saw us yesterday in our drive way looking crazy. Yeah that was us. We were doing a happy dance because our car actually passed inspection! I think the only reason it passed is because we were praying and fasting (not really, well kind of, we were praying but we didn't take it as far as fasting, not yet). Okay back to dropping Seth off so I could have the car. I didn't get a chance to feed Jericho before we left so I ran into the church to feed her before we headed into town to get some groceries. As I was walking in the church feed her I noticed kids on the playground. What were kid, that weren't with their parents but with child care workers, doing on the playground? Oh yeah they have child care for the seminar. Hmmm? Should I take advantage of childcare and go get groceries by myself? I didn't plan to go to the seminar but Seth was going to be there. When was the last time I've been grocery shopping by myself? Oh oh pick me I know the answer it's been 1 year, 3 weeks and 2 days ago. (No, I didn't know that off the top of my head I had to look it up) I don't dread taking Jericho grocery shopping that much. I actually don't dread it at all. It's when I have to make multiply stops and getting her in and out of the car seat that I dread. She does great when we are out and about. So what do you think I did?

Honestly it was a really hard decision for me. Funny because it's not like there was a right or wrong choice but still. The whole time I was nursing I went back and forth in my mind on weather of not I should leave Jericho. I leave her in the church nursery all the time but I'm in the same building. Tori babysits for us all the time, (thanks Tor we really really appreciate it!) but Jericho is usually in bed plus Tori is family so it's different. As the debate in my head (and heart) went on (and a few texts between Seth and I) we decided that I would leave her and go grocery shopping by myself. If I wasn't back by the time they were done Seth and Jericho would have some daddy daughter time till I could get back to them. That is exactly what happened. Jericho played in the nursery and did great (like she always does) and then had some alone time with her daddy.

Elizabeth Stone once said, "Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." She is right and or the first time as I was driving by myself to get groceries I felt like I had left a part of me behind. Part of my heart was crawling around at the church playing because that's where my baby girl was.

That feeling because of that place

Gideon, next to a beanie baby, a few days old

Even now, 3 years later, my heart catches as I climb the stairs of Strong Memorial Hospital, open the door of the 3rd floor, make a right turn and step into the NICU.

It amazes me.

I wonder if it will always be this way.

I hope so.

We went to the hospital to visit a couple from our church who's baby girl was born last night at only 27 1/2 weeks gestation. Gideon was born at 26 week and weighted 8 oz more than she does, he was a big boy even though he was a tiny preemie. We took this couple a NICU survival kit of sorts. A bag full of goodies that will make their NICU days a little easier. As hard as it was to face our hurts and fears and all the reminders that come with the NICU it was so good to be there.

I was wondering what this first time mother was thinking. How she was feeling? What questions did she have? What, if anything, does she know about the NICU? What, if anything, does she know about our story? Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I knew I had the answers to some of these questions but to get to those answers I would have to go to that place. I didn't know if I wanted to go to that place. I didn't know if my mind would allow it. What is that place? It's the sacred place in my heart where memories both good and bad of Gideon and our time in the NICU are stored. That place is a hard place to go sometimes, especially when it gets closer to Gideon's season which it is. (I consider Gideon's season October 31 - January 1st) Sometimes I don't allow myself to go to that sacred place. This may sound weird but sometimes I want to go there but my mind doesn't allow it. This time I allowed it and my mind cooperated. I was thankful. I was able to recall emotions and thoughts that I forgot were there and I think it was very helpful.

Healing that's what I would call what Seth and I did today. It was so healing to be able to give this young couple a few ins and outs of NICU life. I never thought that 3 years later there would be this much healing that needs to be done but I'm learning that the healing never stops. The pain goes down tremendously almost even completely. When you love someone and then lose them the place that they had in your heart will always be empty. There will always be a boo boo, it will always need ointment because it never completely heals. There are times that it won't need as much attention but I think in many ways a band aid of the heart will always be needed. I've never thought that Gideon's life was in vain but getting to do things like this, getting to use the knowledge that we gained in the NICU, helps me see the bigger picture of why things happened the way they did. There is a purpose in everything the Lord allows us to struggle through we just have to find out what that purpose is.

Look to the Cross

There are battles going on within us. In our souls. For our souls. Can you feel them? I can.

Do you ever feel like there is something missing in your life? You have the job you've always wanted and you work hard at it but it's not everything you'd hoped it would be, something is missing. You married the man of your dreams thinking he would bring you true happiness but he's let you down time and again and now you feel like you're living with a stranger as you realized still something is missing. You think kids maybe will do it, if we fill our house with kids they will bring us true joy. But the kids are here and the joy is not, the true joy that you hoped would fill that hole deep inside is still there. You have everything you've ever needed and more but it never seems like enough. You tell yourself that you're whole and happy and that life is good, but how can your life be good when your spirit is in turmoil?

How can life be good when your boss wants more from you, your husband wants more from you, your kids want more from you but you have nothing left to give? How can life be good when there is a longing and a desire deep down in your soul for something more but you are trying to ignore it? Trying to reason the desire away. Do you ever look at someone and wonder how they can have so much hope and joy when it seems like they should be falling apart? When their life seems "worse" than yours but somehow you know it's not. Maybe you've asked yourself what is it that they have that you don't? Maybe you've even asked yourself hopefully how do I get it? Or can I get it? Then for some reason you think no, maybe it's not for me? I'm probably not good enough anyway. I've messed up way to many times. It works for them but it would never work for me.

Right now there is a battle that is going on for you. It is not in your soul but for your soul.

You can have what "they" have, what I have.

It's Jesus Christ and what he did on the cross.

Who is Jesus Christ? He is the the Son of God who came to this Earth, born of a virgin, lived a perfect life, only to give it on the cross for our sins, yours and mine.

I want to share with you a few verse that will explain it a little more:

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
God gave his only son for you, just for you because he loves you. All you have to do is believe and you will spend eternity in Heaven with God.

Romans 3:23 For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
We have all sinned. We have all done things that are displeasing to God. No one is exempt. The next verse tells us what we deserve for those sins.

Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.
The punishment that we have earned for our sin is death. Not just physical death but eternal death. BUT (and it's a big but) the gift God wants to give us is eternal life. A forever relationship with God. No pain, no suffering, no tears only joy and love and happiness and the list goes on with only good things.

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were sill sinners, Christ died for us.
This is the cross. God, because he loves us so much, sent his Son Jesus to died (on a cross) for us. Jesus' death paid the price for our sins. Three days after Jesus died on the cross he was resurrected. Jesus being resurrected proves that God accepted Jesus' death as payment for our sins.

Romans 10:9 That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.
This is where you have the opportunity to receive the eternal gift from God it was talking about in Romans 6:23. Because of Jesus' death on our behalf, all we have to do is believe in Him, trusting His death as the payment for our sins, confess & believe it - and we will be saved! Here is a simple prayer you can pray to God. Saying this prayer is a way to declare (confess) to God that you are relying on Jesus Christ for your salvation. The words themselves will not save you. Only faith in Jesus Christ can save you! "God, I know that I have sinned against you and am deserving of punishment. But Jesus Christ took the punishment that I deserve so that through faith in Him I could be forgiven. With your help, I place my trust in You. Thank You for Your wonderful grace and forgiveness - the gift of eternal life! Amen!"

Romans 8:38-39 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is Christ Jesus our Lord.
Know that there is nothing that can separate you from the love that you just received - God's love!




If you have any questions about this post or if you asked Jesus in your heart for the first time please email me: growingoodsons(at)gmail(dot)com

The Little Moments

Jericho has been up more in the middle of the night since she turned one (less than 2 weeks ago) than she was in her whole first year. I'm not sure why, but I think it has something to do with her one year old molars that are coming in. This morning at 4am she was once again yelling for me. I went in picked, her up but only after she made sure she had her blankie, asked her what was wrong and had to giggle as she very clearly very deliberately lunged toward the chair that I always nurse her in. The girl knows what she wants and isn't shy about tell us.

We found early on that Jericho sleeps much better if there is noise so for months now we put a cd in and have it repeat all night long. Last night we had Steven Curtis Chapman's This Moment Cinderella Edition playing (thanks Aunt Tori for the birthday CD - we love it!) So as we snuggled in to have an early morning nursing session I thought it appropriate that the song One Heartbeat At A Time was playing. It's becoming one of my favorite songs because it reminds me why I'm doing what I'm doing. It tells why I choose to staying home with my daughter. It reminds me that I may not see it now but I am changing the world. You know what you are too!

Jericho finished nursing but wasn't finished snuggling (she has become much more of a snuggle bug since she turned one too. I'm wondering if this also has to do with her teeth. Honestly, I really care why I'm enjoying it as long as it lasts.) the Cinderella song was playing and I again found it appropriate for the moment. Steven Curtis Chapman wrote the song to remind him to enjoy the little moments that he has with his daughters before they grow up, get married and have little girls themselves. He wrote it before his daughter Maria died in a tragic accident at their home. Now every time I hear the end of the chorus where is says "Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight and she'll be gone" I pray for him and his family. I hope he enjoyed every little moment with Maria that he had.

When the Lord blesses you with a child you automatically think that you will get to see them grow, go to the prom, got to college, get married and eventually have children of their own. That is how it is supposed to be. We aren't supposed to think that for any reason it should be different than that but sometimes it is. Sometimes we don't get to watch them grow up. Sometimes the clock strikes midnight way before we are ready and way before we expect it and they are gone.

So, as Jericho and I continued to snuggle I once again thanked my God for the year that He had already given me with her. I prayed for the many years to come. Most of all I enjoyed the little moment that I had with Jericho right there right then.

I believe that when the clock does strike midnight for Jericho it will be because she is going off to college or getting married but if for some reason it happens before then I want to be ready. I want to enjoy every little moment that I have. I hope you do too.

Enjoy the little moments today!

Why tell me why!

Can someone please tell me again why ABC sold Monday Night Football to ESPN? The Packers are playing the Viking tonight, it's Aaron Rogers first time starting as the Packers quarterback and I'm missing it because don't have cable. I don't want cable. I do want to be able to watch Monday Night Football! What's a football loving girl to do?

A week ago...

...this baby girl was dedicated!

A little over than 3 years ago Seth and I took time to dedicate Gideon to the Lord. I was pregnant for him and having problems. We knew that no matter what happened God was in control and we wanted God to know that we trusted Him with our second child.

A little less than 3 years ago Gideon was in the hospital and not doing well. Our pastor and some of the elders from our church came by the hospital to see how Gideon was doing. We asked them to pray over him. They did and also dedicated him to the Lord. Days later Gideon died.

Since then I've watched countless baby dedications in church feeling so happy for the family dedicating the baby but always longing to be the one on stage. Would we ever dedicate a child to the Lord in front of our church family?

A little over a year ago I was pregnant once again. This time I was not having problems but we knew we were going to want to hold on tight to this baby. So from the moment we chose her name, in our hearts, we dedicated Jericho to the Lord promising that we would raise her with an open hand.

A year ago, on the day of her birth, Jericho was once again handed over to the Lord by a pastor friend of ours who came to see and bless our new baby girl.

Finally last week it was our honor to have our pastor dedicate Jericho in our church in front of our church family. This was a first for us. Something we, and many of them, have been waiting for. Praise the Lord!

Just a little more proof that God is faithful!

A random fact about a random thought from me

I had a random thought as I was folding (or not folding) laundry yesterday. I don't fold my undergarments. Is that normal? I've always seen folding panties, undershirts, bras and such as a waste of time. I admit to being, oh how shall we say it, a little OCD at times so you would think that I would need everything to be nice and neat and folded. But no, to me if it's in the drawer it's clean if it's anywhere else it's dirty there's no need to fold em. Don't get me wrong the drawer that houses my undergarments it organized, it drives me crazy when it's unorganized, it's just not folded. Am I in the minority here? Tell me do you fold/organize your underwear drawer?

Birthday Week - Mini Putting Edition

We are alive. There has been much to celebrate this last week. A birthday, a baby dedication and a party complete with both sides of our families here to help celebrate which has left me with little time for anything else. The festivities are now over and our families have returned home. There is plenty to do around here with everyone gone but first will you come back with me, back to the beginning of Birthday Week. The celebration of Jericho's birthday began the Tuesday before her birthday were she went Mini Putting with mommy & daddy for the first time!

Ready to play

It's much harder to mini put with a baby strapped to the front of you than you would think.

At the castle there were 2 holes one of them there was a possibility to get a hole in one.

and in honor of Jericho's 1st birthday we go that hole in one!

Jericho's smokin hot daddy!

Look at Jericho's hands her left hand (right one looking at the picture) it's like mine, all of her fingers spread out. Now look at her right hand (left one in the picture) it's like Seth's hands. Both of Seth's middle two fingers on both his hands stay together. When he claps, when he uses his hands to talk they are always together, even when he tries to spread them he can't. I love it. I don't know why but I do. It makes me smile every time I see it. Now my daughters hand does it too. I love that she is part of me & part of Seth.

I love her foot in this picture.

I love you sweet girl! Here's to another year!



*Stay tuned for more from Birthday Week. Coming up next: Jericho's favorite birthday present.*

Remember the Cross

There are battles going on within us. In our souls. For our souls. Can you feel them? I can.

You can see them too. Not with your earthly eyes but with the eyes of your soul and the spirit that resides in your soul. Do you know what I'm talking about? Some of you do. Some of you know exactly what I'm talking about. You can tell when your heading into a battle. Something in your spirit starts to stir. You are unsettled, antsy, and nothing seems right but you don't know why. Then you see it. You know why your spirit was uneasy because the battle has begun. It's time to strap on your boots and take up your sword. It's time to fight and you are ready. But before long you're tired, you wanna give up, to quite, you don't know if fighting this battle is worth it. You're not sure you can even remember what you are fighting for. You are scared. Will you be able to handle it? Will your heart be able to handle the torment that you sometimes feel? Even if you make it through this battle, maybe even pull out a win this time, there will be another battle to fight before to long and another and another. How many more can you handle? How long can this go on? Is it really worth it, you wonder again.

You have these thoughts (or similar ones) because you have lost sight, lost sight of.....

The CROSS

You must look to and stay focused on the cross. Remember what Jesus did for you.

Be encouraged because our fight is not of this world and neither are our weapons. God has overcome this world and you are a child of God therefore you have overcome the world and have victory.