Monday, November 19, 2007

Been There Done That

It's nice having friends in life who have "Been there and done that." Yesterday I got to be one of those friends and I needed one of those friends.

This Thanksgiving is going to be the first holiday that one of my dear friends is going to spend without her second oldest daughter. About 6 months ago her oldest 2 girls were in a very serious car accident. The oldest had major injuries, you would never know it looking at her today she recovered way better than any doctor thought possible - Praise the Lord, but her other daughter lost her life. This event is really what started our friendship. I knew her before the accident and we had talked a few times but now we are good friends. Why? because I have been in her shoes. I have lost a child. The circumstances in how our children died were nothing alike, a car accident verses a collapsed lung and to many infections, her daughter was 22 and my son was not even 2 months, but it does not matter. She knows that she can trust me, she knows she can be open and honest because I have been there and felt and thought and said many of the things she is feeling and thinking and saying. On Sunday she came up to me with tears in her eyes and asked if we could talk. We talked and cried and talked and cried some more. As we brought our conversation to an end my friend thanked me for taking time to talk to her when she needed it. I told her anytime and I chuckled to myself and thought you have no idea how much I needed this too. I needed to know that I'm not the only one missing my child this holiday season. I'm not the only one that gets mad at God for taking my son. I'm not the only one that knows that God is going to get me through. I'm not the only one that that has been there. So thank you dear friend for being open and honest, for sharing what you are going through, for knowing that I have "been there and done that", for trusting me at such a hard time. I will be praying for you and your family.

I need you guys to understand that Gideon's birthday and the up coming holidays are not the only thing that have been on my mind lately, there are a few other things that are heavy on my heart, I am just choosing not to blog about them. So if it seems like the only thing I'm talking about is Gideon it's because now is not the time to blog about the other things and I have been thinking about Gideon a lot. The other thing you need to understand is that I am the type of person that totally takes on other peoples problems and I analyze EVERYTHING. When something is heavy on my heart it is hard for me to think, or blog, about anything else. So I apologize if my blog seem kind of down but it's because I am thinking through and dealing with a lot of hard things.

With that said I will tell you that this last week was rough, very rough, but the Lord knows how much I can handle. On Sunday I was at the end of my rope and the Lord knew it and threw me a lifeline. Not just one lifeline but two. God is good. The event above was the 1st one and then later that night another good friend called. I missed her call, my phone was on silent from church, and when I called back she didn't answer. I know you're thinking what kind of lifeline is that, don't worry she called back and we actually got to talk. One of the reasons I was so desperate to talk to her is because I have found myself in a place that she has "been there and done that" I needed some advice. I needed to talk to someone that would listen and could understand the heartache. Thank you dear friend, you know who you are, for your wisdom and counsel, talking to you made me realize that no matter what happens things will turn out just fine and that I don't need to worry because it's out of my control.

Next time you find yourself in a situation that you don't like and are wondering how you got there, remember that one reason, although probably not the only one, is so that you can be or find a friend that has "Been There and Done That" They are good friends to be and good friends to have!


KT said...

Tarah...we haven't talked much lately, but I have been thinking of you and praying for you lots. I can't even imagine all that is on your mind and in your heart during this time. Love you dearly.

Susie said...

I got an email from a woman this last week, who's been there and done that. It was such a relief to know I'm not the only one. And it's so difficult going through something that the majority don't understand. Your family is on my heart this week Tarah, I hope you have a great Thanksgiving.
PS. We (I say we because I'm sure I'm not the only one) wouldn't dream of reading anything on your blog that wasn't on your heart. And we still read because we want to know.