Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Growing up?!?!

Does anyone else out there ever feel like there is so much you could blog about but you can't figure out where to start. Or that there is so much to blog about but not enough time (at least not time I'm willing to spend) to blog.That's where I am right now. I've been traveling a lot the last few months but I don't feel like I've gotten to tell you about our travels and all the fun we had or all the wonderful people that we've got to visit. It seems that I have all these pictures to share and stories to tell you but then I get home and life happens. With life happening there are other things to blog about and other pictures to show and other stories to tell and the previous ones get lost and seems like old news and then I go on another trip and it starts all over again. It's a vicious circle. A cycle that I can't seem to get out of. Oh well, I guess that's part of the blogging world, you only read what I choose (or have time) to share and what I write about is only a fraction of my life. I guess that's how it is with your friends to though. If I happen to call one of my friends and her kid did something cute that day I'd probably hear about it but if I call 4 days later I probably wouldn't hear about it. It's life.

I am in denial that my baby is now 8 months old. I like the fact that she isn't crawling or anything yet first of all because it's easier on me but mostly because she feels more like a baby when she is immobile. Yes, she is still a baby but she's getting closer to being a toddler than I'd like to admit. Part of me is wondering if she is going to skip the crawling stage all together. She's already trying to pull herself up on things but she hasn't even tried to crawl or even scoot for that matter. Is that normal? Who knows. I will probably know sooner than I want. Yet, I love that she is getting bigger and doing more. I know you probably aren't going to believe me but she has said "mama" to me 3X in the last 2 days. My baby is getting bigger and my heart is aching just a little, but people (babies) have to grow up weather they (or their parents) like it or not.

Sometimes towns have to grow up too. While in Chicago I stayed with my parents for a night. I had a little time to myself so I decided to take a drive through the town they live in. The town I used to live in. The town that I once knew as well as the back of my hand. The town I grew up in. As I drove up and down the streets I found myself in a foreign land. Strange new building lined the main road, subdivisions I have never seen before replaced fields that I once played in as a little girl, the high school (more specifically the gym) that I grew up in (my dad was a coach and teacher, we went to all his games, I literally grew up in that place) was now replaced by a bigger school with two levels instead of the familiar smallness of everything on one level (how dare they) and a new, to big, to open gym (how could they) My last two years of high school they even made me go to this strange new school (Nooooo!) and play in the wide open gym that echo's so bad it will make your ears ring (the nerve!)(Ok it wasn't that bad but I sure wasn't happy about it to start with) Even as I drove by 7 years later the school (that looks like a prison - literally - ask anyone who lives there, right Wulf!) still seems out of place. So much has changed. I felt lost and unsure of myself as I drove, wondering how long that building had been there or this place has been closed. I surly did not recognize my once little but not so little now town, I wonder if that it recognized me? Probably not for I have changed just as much as it has. We've both grown up. Spread our wings a little wider than what we thought possible. Opened up to people and things we when we didn't want to. Ventured into the unknown without anyone asking us if it was okay. I wonder if that not so little town that I drove through is as happy about the changes. I wonder if that little town had a choice. I wonder if it wanted to grow up. I wonder if it realized it was growing up or if one day it just looked around and thought wow I'm not such a little town any more am I. As out of place as I felt driving through that not so little town I was comforted because I didn't just grow up in that town, we grew up together.

3 comments:

Andrea said...

Time... it's unforgiving! I feel the same way when I drive around home. It's like things just aren't like I remember, but it's still home. Weird.

This was a beautiful post, Tarrah. And Jericho is saying "Mama!" Whoo-hoo! I love it when they start saying mama!

-Andrea

Reese said...

Alyssa only crawled for maybe a month before she started walking. I too thought she would skip that stage. Growing up is hard to do, but even harder is letting your children grow up. (Just so you know, forbidding your children from getting older doesn't work, I've tried it.)

Anonymous said...

I do think it is like an institution....literally! It is kind of cold, not like the old gym with all the old, small town closeness!

I cannot believe she is saying Momma! I bet you were in tears the first time! She is soooo sweet!
~Wulf