Tuesday, January 8, 2008

My Truth Project

Seth and I have been talking about the difference between the Truth of God verses the lies that Satan tells us and why so many people believe the lies instead of the the truth. We've been slowly watching a series called, The Truth Project, I say slowly because the videos are very deep and take awhile to digest and then we talk about them before we watch the next one. I love it because it really makes me think but sometimes it's hard to think about such deep things.

Over the last 6+ few weeks I've been struggling with some things. If you would have asked me 2 days ago what I was doing about it I would have told you that when I start thinking about it I would pray and give it to the Lord. Well I've realized that what I was really doing was shooting up a short prayer but then I would start worrying and getting anxious over the whole thing. When you really give things to the Lord you don't start getting anxious about them 2 seconds later. I wasn't really letting God take this burden that I carried I was just pretended to give it to him. I can honestly say that I was not doing this on purpose. I really thought that every time I prayed (more like told God how good or bad things could turn out and then I start worrying about all the things I just told him) I was leaving it at His feet. Turns out that every time I'd lay my burden down I would pick it right back up before I turned to leave. Don't you hate when that happens.

Well I was getting sick of carrying my burden around. It was wearing on my emotionally, spiritually, and even physically. Yesterday as I sat down to pray I decided that I wanted to get rid of this burden once and for all and told the Lord as much. I also told Him that I wasn't sure how to do that because I didn't know what this burden that I carried was, all I knew was that there was something deep down inside me that wasn't letting go but I didn't know why. I asked God to give me wisdom and clarity. I asked that He would show me what was at the heart of this issue so that I could truly lay it at his feet and leave it there.

As I started praying I felt questions come up in my spirit, I knew they were from the Lord and that if I answered them honestly He would show me where the problem was and how He could help me fix it. When I would answer one question another would come up and then I'd answer that and then another would come until clear as day the lies that I had believe for the last 3 years lay there bare and exposed. I had no clue that I had been believing them. . . . . until now. What would I do with them. I could continue to believe them and let them shape how I lived my life (because they have been shaping me for 3 years) or I could give them to the Lord and ask Him to show me the truth.

I'm not going to go into much detail about these lies but they had to do with the pregnancy problems I've had. The doctors never did figure out what or why I had problems and because there were no answers there were many speculations from many people. The things that were said were not meant to hurt me but meant to help figure out what the problem was, but it turns out some of the things that were said I took as truth and believed. I was blaming myself (my body) for the pregnancy problems that I had because of the lies that I believed. I can't tell you how relieved I am to finally know what has been bugging me for the last 6 weeks. It's also good to know that these things, these lies, that I've struggled with and mulled over for 3 years are just what I called them - lies - plain and simple and I no longer have to believe them. I'm choosing to take these lies to God so that He can replace them with His truth. I know it's not going to be an easy process (is it ever easy when you have to change the way you think?) but I know the Lord is faithful. The lies can no longer hide in the darkness because the light (truth) has been seen. God's truth will set you free!

What lies have you been believing?


Sarah said...

My husband and I just finished the truth project and your right they are full of tough problems but like you they got me thinking about what is the truth and what are lies, especially the lies that I let mold me instead of yeilding over to God

bethany said...

Thanks for sharing this. I feel like someone could make a sermon out of it - how often we think we're giving something up to the Lord, when really we're just setting it down and picking it right back up again. All the while, He's trying to get us to realize that He WANTS to take it for us, if only we'll just let go. He's a good Dad. :)