Friday, September 19, 2008
What to do?
Since Jericho's party we've actually had a few down weeks. Do you hear that? The heavens - they are rejoicing for me for us. It's been nice to have a little down time. I've put way to many things off but ya know what I don't care. Wanna know what we have been doing? Playing. That's it. I love that playing includes watching an adorable one year old girl discover (by playing) the world around her. Sadly, I knew this couldn't last forever and starting Thursday things have picked up and they won't stop for the next 2 weeks, literally.
This weekend (well Thursday-Saturday) Seth has a growth seminars (not really sure what to call it). These seminars are for a small group of guys in the ministry and they meet 3 times a year for 3 years, Seth is in his 2nd year. They bring different counselor, teachers and preachers to speak. The wives are encouraged to attend the seminars with their husbands. To encourage the wives attendance the church provides child care. I've attended almost all of the meetings but Jericho was still young (and quiet) so I kept her with me the last few times. So, I forgot about the child care.
Remember how I told you I've been putting things off well grocery shopping was among that list but thanks to the boars and chickens we've been eating! You can only eat so much boar before you need something different. We needed something different. I needed the car to get something different, we only have one car. What's that you say you saw us yesterday in our drive way looking crazy. Yeah that was us. We were doing a happy dance because our car actually passed inspection! I think the only reason it passed is because we were praying and fasting (not really, well kind of, we were praying but we didn't take it as far as fasting, not yet). Okay back to dropping Seth off so I could have the car. I didn't get a chance to feed Jericho before we left so I ran into the church to feed her before we headed into town to get some groceries. As I was walking in the church feed her I noticed kids on the playground. What were kid, that weren't with their parents but with child care workers, doing on the playground? Oh yeah they have child care for the seminar. Hmmm? Should I take advantage of childcare and go get groceries by myself? I didn't plan to go to the seminar but Seth was going to be there. When was the last time I've been grocery shopping by myself? Oh oh pick me I know the answer it's been 1 year, 3 weeks and 2 days ago. (No, I didn't know that off the top of my head I had to look it up) I don't dread taking Jericho grocery shopping that much. I actually don't dread it at all. It's when I have to make multiply stops and getting her in and out of the car seat that I dread. She does great when we are out and about. So what do you think I did?
Honestly it was a really hard decision for me. Funny because it's not like there was a right or wrong choice but still. The whole time I was nursing I went back and forth in my mind on weather of not I should leave Jericho. I leave her in the church nursery all the time but I'm in the same building. Tori babysits for us all the time, (thanks Tor we really really appreciate it!) but Jericho is usually in bed plus Tori is family so it's different. As the debate in my head (and heart) went on (and a few texts between Seth and I) we decided that I would leave her and go grocery shopping by myself. If I wasn't back by the time they were done Seth and Jericho would have some daddy daughter time till I could get back to them. That is exactly what happened. Jericho played in the nursery and did great (like she always does) and then had some alone time with her daddy.
Elizabeth Stone once said, "Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." She is right and or the first time as I was driving by myself to get groceries I felt like I had left a part of me behind. Part of my heart was crawling around at the church playing because that's where my baby girl was.