Thursday, November 20, 2008

A Father's Heart

Seth sent the following email (bold words are my emphasis) on December 16, 2005. For 26 days he had been sending daily, sometimes even hourly updates on Gideon. By December 16, 2005 we had already been told twice that Gideon would not make it thought the night. Twice Gideon made it thought the night. Sometimes we still question why we saw so many miracles in Gideon's life if God was still planning on bringing home. Why not take him the first or the second time he was in a life and death situation? Today when I read Seth's words (the ones below in bold) 3 years after they were written, it is obvious to me that the first and the second time Gideon's purpose was not yet fulfilled, but on January 1st 2006 it was.

My heart as the father of Gideon Uriah Goodson can never express the thanks and appreciating that Tarah and I have for all of your prayers. My emails have seemed at times full of faith while inside such fear of burying my first son. Tarah and I lost our first beautiful baby girl Grace only in February of this year. She was 16 weeks in the womb when we lost her. We have a beautiful stone with her name on it along with the verse May Grace be with you... I say all that to tell you through this struggle there have been many moments when I thought to myself how can I have two stones for two children in one year. The pain that comes with the thought of losing another child, while also watching my wife who is and will be an amazing mother, knowing that God has called to be to raise mighty men and women of God, is to much to bear. I feel as if I'm watch her dreams slip away. Faith has come and gone in this battle for me and I thank you for holding our arms up in this battle and at times fighting for us. Many times it feels as if we are laying on the ground being punched over and over again. We thank you for stepping in and taking a few punches for us. We are bloody, battered, and bruised but still fighting till our last breath.

Two things strike me as I read the story of Gideon to Gideon. in the 13 vs of Judges 6 Gideon is wondering where the God is that saved his fathers from the Egyptians now that they were facing the Midianites. This has been me, "God why have you saved Gideon from an infection to only watch him die from a lung problem?" God clearly spoke to my heart and told me as I saved Gideon's fathers from the Egyptians and sent Gideon to destroy the Midianites know that I have saved Gideon from the diseases and that I will continue to save him from anything that comes against him. Gideon is invincible until my purposes are done with him. God was showing me no matter the circumstance he is still in control.

The second item God showed me was a Gideon went against an army outnumbering him by thousands and had camels more numerous than the sand on the sea shore that God chose only a few to fight with him. All of you praying God has chosen you to walk beside Gideon and fight next to him. We thank you for allowing your hearts to be pricked by the life of my son and fighting this battle. You are all truly mighty warriors that have taken up your sword next to my son. My heart cannot express the love and the passion I have for all of you. Thank you.

Gideon's Daddy,

This is the email Seth wrote today as we visited the hospital in celebration and honor of Gideon on his 3rd Birthday.

It has been 3 years since these emails began. They told the story of a Mighty Warrior one who against all odds continue to fight battles bigger than he was. He took on giants that no one of his caliber had ever slayed. Today I sit in the same library that I sent all those emails 3 years ago. It's hard to be sitting here without my son, I want my son with me. I want to play catch with him, I want to chase him around the house, I want to see what he would of become. With all the emotions of this day I can still say what I said 3 years ago MY GOD IS GOOD. He does comfort those who mourn. We are still in the process of grieving and God is still in the process of comforting us. He has never left us or forsaken us. I sit here today declaring God is good. Tarah, Myself and our beautiful 15 month old daughter Jericho are doing well. God's hand has been on us and His love is beyond any words that I can express. I wish I had time to tell you all that God has done for us, but when I walked into the Library today I knew I must write to you and remind you of the time we had with Gideon. The precious things I know God did in your heart and lives as we gathered together in prayer. Thank you and we love all of you and we pray that Christ's transforming love continue to saturate your lives.

Still Gideon's Daddy,

I have such an amazing husband. He is an incredible daddy! No wonder my little man was such a mighty warrior! He took after his daddy.

1 comment:

Rachel said...

I truly admire the strength and love you and your husband share :). I hope that as years pass the pain lessens...and that you two have the opportunity to raise up many more warriors together:)