Sunday, February 22, 2009

Holy Days

Hi, My name is Tarah and I'm a holidays hater.

Okay, okay I don't hate holidays but I do feel that I have an issue with them. A major issue. And I am finally willing to admit it....

I need help....

Take February 14th for example. Ya know, Valentine's Day. Yeah, I didn't even mention it (until now) That just shows how bad this really is. Before hand I wanted to avoid the thought of it because I didn't know what to do. During Valentine's Day I was busy enjoying it with the love of my life and our adorable daughter. Seth and I went out the night before Valentines so on Valentine's Day we stayed home. Seth made a delicious Italian Cuisine (spaghetti) and served it on our nice china! He is so sweet! Jericho and I even made homemade cards for everyone (well daddy & grandparents) But even after Valentines I wish I had done more for the poeople I love. I still feel like....

I don't know how to really celebrate. I don't know how to make holidays special. I long for holidays in my home to be special. When I say special I think yummy foods (some only made certain times each year for traditions sake), festive decorations, an atmosphere that says, "It's time to celebrate!" I want some of my families fondest memories to be of us celebrating holidays together. I want to have family traditions and not just to have family traditions so we can say we have family traditions, I want there to be meaning in our traditions. I want my children to realize that it's not just a holiday but a holy day....

There is just one major problem....

I am afraid of failure. I don't want to try something new if it's not going to work. For me it is easier to just not try, then to try and fail. Failure is not an option, at least not if I can help it. I've had failures in my life but if I try really really hard not to. If I can avoid it, I do. At all cost. So, it's hard to try anything new, such as creating new traditions or learning how to celebrate holidays. It makes it very hard. Very hard becaue I really hate failing. At least the old me did.....

The new me doesn't mind so much. The new me has seen that when fear of failure is present you miss out, on a lot of things, to many things. I'm not willing to live that that anymore. So, I will be trying new things. I will prepare ahead of time, I will get some decorations (or get stuff so I can make decorations) for future holidays starting now. I will not feel guilty about (wisely) spending money to acquire holiday decor because it is now in the budget! We will start some new traditions this year. We will continue the few that we already have. I will take some tips from the Sinclair women and keep these things in mind as I learn to celebrate and set the atmosphere for celebrations. Most of all I will give myself grace! I assure you grace will be needed because....

I know at times I will fail, but as Robert Schuller says, "Failure doesn't mean you are a failure... it just means you haven't succeeded yet." I will keep trying until I succeed, however long that may be. Along the way I will pray that when I fail and fall, I fall forward, towards success....

This is all just part of me, finding me. I've learned thatI like traditions, I like to celebrate, I actually like holidays. I just have to figure out what celebrating looks like for me and my family....


Will you tell me what it looks like for yours? What are your favorite traditions and why?

3 comments:

Dr Phil said...

It's funny that at Christmas, Heath said they would come over late Christmas morning for green Christmas-tree-shaped biscuits and red gravy. When Khane and Elisabeth were making plans to come on Valentine's weekend, he said maybe Heath and family could come over late Saturday morning for red-heart-shaped biscuits.

Sgt and Mrs Hub said...

You know, I am not very good at holidays either. But, I am getting better. It seems the more and older my children become the easier it gets to celebrate in fun ways. I think it's because they have this enormous excitement and it's contagious and it pushes me to think and create!

So, don't be too hard on yourself! This sort of thing takes time. Traditions need time to develop. You and your family will soon have wonderful cherished memories to look back on AND to look forward to re-creating.

-Andrea

Learning and Growing said...

One of the traditions we've started since having Elliot is pjs and ornaments for Christmas eve. We got him new pjs to open and an ornament with the year written on it or on the bottom. When he is grown and has his own family we will give him all his ornaments from the years here at home with us. :)